As much as you like to use internal emails to tell your story, the email format is not ideal for conventional storytelling.
In my experience, the leadership or the HR team typically wishes to begin at the beginning. They wish to lay the background before they come to the current state of affairs that necessitated communication.
Here’s a sample of internal communication about an acquisition.
Hi Team,
As you’re aware, our company PQR believes in continuously expanding its technology expertise.
We’re already a strong player in digital transformation. But our focus is to not rest on the past achievements, but constantly improve our capabilities.
To this end, we are proud to announce PQR’s acquisition of company XYZ. XYZ is a leading solution provider in cloud technologies.
XYZ will complement our strength in digital transformation. With this acquisition, we are poised to expand our technology expertise and customer-base. You can share the happy news via your personal social media accounts. Here’s the official PR announcing the development.
We welcome employees of XYZ to our company. You’re now part of our PQR family.
Let’s make 2025 a great year for us all.
–
Regards,
Why is this bad?
The modern worker is hard pressed on time. Reading your email is not on his priority list. The punchline is buried deep inside the mail, in the 3rd paragraph.
Today, people scroll and skip when they read. If your first sentence doesn’t hook them, you have already lost them. What you need are lots of white spaces, smaller paragraphs and bullet points. Form follows function, as they say.
Also, if you are appealing to your employees to take some action, it must be clear. Place it towards the end, as that’s the place people expect to locate a call-to-action.
And, considering your employees are busy, you can provide a ready-made template to make their job easy.
A better version of the above sample could be:
Hi Team,
[Intro]
We are proud to announce our acquisition of company XYZ, a leading cloud solutions provider.
[Expansion of intro]
We’re already a strong player in digital transformation. XYZ will complement our strength in digital transformation. (Read the Press Release)
Together, we are poised to expand our technology expertise and customer-base.
[Welcoming new employees]
We welcome employees of XYZ to our family.
[Invitation to take action]
We invite you to share the happy news in your social media accounts. You may use the below text.
“PQR, a leader in digital transformation, acquires XYZ, a cloud services company. The acquisition enables the company to further strengthen its digital transformation agenda. Read the Press Release <Link>”
Let’s make 2025 a great year for us all.
–
Regards,
BONUS SECTION
Let’s talk about group emails.
Because, much of what I say above, applies equally to group emails (from a team-lead/manager to team.)
Let’s imagine it’s about a scope creep in a project. Most leads/managers may probably begin by first appreciating the team and then lead to the thorny issue.
Here’s an anonymized version of what I have often seen.
Hi Team,
Our commitment to project delivery has always been commendable. Our team is well-recognized for their exceptional expertise and work ethic.
However, I regret to inform you that, lately, we have not lived up to our name.
The project ABC is showing clear signs of scope creep. We have already slipped on the deadlines twice. And, there has been an escalation at the management level.
Clearly, some members of the team have not executed their responsibilities on time. This is deeply troubling.
Let’s have a team-meeting tomorrow at 11:00 AM to discuss this.
—-
Regards,
How to make it better?
This is bad both in terms of communicating effectively and demonstrating your leadership ability. The communication aspect may already be apparent (as the above example shows). But, as a leader you’re supposed to make hard decisions. There are ways to demonstrate yourself as an empathetic leader. But starting with a transparently deceptive note is not one of them. Especially in light of what follows.
Finally, there is no clarity on what specifically is to be discussed. In its absence, many may assume it’s a scolding session.
Hi Team,
The project ABC has reportedly slipped into scope creep; it has been escalated to management.
Together, we need to resolve this immediately.
Let’s meet tomorrow at 11 AM to discuss the following:
- Why did we miss deadlines twice?
- Why did we fail to bring this to management’s notice earlier?
- What were the problems we faced while executing the project?
- What could have been done to solve these earlier?
- How can we resolve this matter now?
Please come to the meeting with the relevant data points and information.
—
Regards,
It’s vital to remember that emails are a for-record document that will likely outlast your tenure with the company. Why write something that could be used against your team? Moral posturing, while it may sound impressive, can easily be weaponized. In a crisis, you need to be solution-oriented.
Speaking of empathy, it’s better shown in in-person settings.
This being my view, you may ask: why insert the meeting agenda in the email at all?
- This is likely company-wide knowledge by now.
- An email will reinforce that you’re cognizant of the matter’s urgency (both to your team and the management).
- By keeping it objective and to-the-point, you preempt the possibility of needless arguments within the team. It demonstrates you’re more interested in fixing the problem than assigning the blame.
To recap:
An internal email structure is:
- One-line opening statement that briefly summarizes the email’s purpose
- The background or context necessary to make sense of the introduction
- Separate paragraphs to discuss any related idea/information
- Conclude with call-to-action in the last paragraph. That’s where people look to know what they are expected to do.
Some rules of email writing:
- Assume your reader is busy, not dumb. He may not yet be aware of the context you’re talking about. But if you provide the necessary details, they will readily connect the dots themselves.
- One paragraph, one idea. Do not overload a paragraph with more than one idea. Write your email visually.
- Be as concise as possible. Do not fall in love with your writing. Your agenda is to make people clearly understand your point. Nothing more.
- Be as detailed as necessary. Concise doesn’t mean you skip the details necessary to make sense of the situation. If your reader has to call you again to understand what you meant, your email requires re-work.
Musings by Madhav 
Leave a comment